Saturday 1 March 2008

Kurdish Regional Government Issues Turkish Ultimatum

The Kurdish Regional Government voted by a wide margin to issue a statement
which says the following:

"The Kurdish Regional Government supports the sovereignty of the Iraq and demands that the Turkish military cease its unilateral incursions within the Kurdish area of Iraq. The Kurdish people will no longer be used as the pawns of Turkish attempts to put down the sovereingty of the Kurds."

The Turks have refused to accept this statement, arguing that the Kurdish Regional Goverment is not the sovereign Government of Iraq and iterate their right to continue combating terrorism in all its forms.

Saturday 16 February 2008

ISRAEL DESTROYS LEBANON'S GOVERNMENT CENTRE

The new Hezbollah controlled government of Lebanon have been killed in the past hour by an Israeli air strike against government headquarters in Beirut. The Syrian President, in response, has named himself the acting President of Lebanon and is vowing to defend Syrian territory at any cost.

Syrian and Israeli forces have engaged upon the ground and in the air. There is an effective state of war between Israel and Syria.

Former Lebanon Defence Minister sentenced to guillotine; Israel ready to go to war with Syria.

After Israel's refusal to grant the former Lebanese defense minister amnesty, and being held captive by the new self-proclaimed Hezbollah government, the new Prime Minister has decided to make an example of the defense minister and has ordered his public death by guillotining. This will be followed by a triumphant parade by Hezbollah fighters and a speech in Beirut. This is rumoured to incorporate the announcement of the introduction of strict new Sharia religious law in Lebanon.

The Israelis in the meantime are drafting reserve forces to beef up defences along the Gaza Strip. It is rumoured that there is also a paratrooper drop planned to take Beirut.

Israel's Defense Ministry spokesman has warned Syria that Israel is prepared to use all necessary measures, including full-scale war with Syria, to pacify Lebanon under an Israeli banner, and has suggested that Syria pull back to its border to avoid further escalation.

SYRIA INVADES LEBANON

Syrian troops have responded to a request by the self-proclaimed Prime Minister of Lebanon, the former Minister representing Hezbollah, and have entered Lebanon to secure the situation. They are being greeted by Hezbollah fighters almost as if they were liberators. The Hezbollah fighters, as areas of Lebanon come under Syrian control, are diverting their efforts towards slowing down the Israelis, with some success. Israeli progress racing towards Beirut has slowed significantly, and it appears as though Syrian troops will beat them there.

HEZBOLLAH CLAIMS CONTROL

With the assasination of the Lebanese Prime Minister, Lizzarick bin Pattin has consolidated her control over the cabinet of Lebanon. Though there is some resistance from the Foreign Minister, who is considering fleeing into exile, it is expected that the disparate factions of the cabinet will fall in behind the new Prime Minister.

Syria and Iran have instantly recognised the new government of Lebanon. The UN Security Council is still discussing the matter. President George W Bush has called a session of the National Security Council to discuss 'a terrorist takeover of Lebanon.'

Israeli ground forces, at the invitation of the former government, have entered Lebanon to begin pacifying the country. Syria has reacted badly to this event, and has mobilised its forces to enter Lebanon and secure the situation. "We cannot accept a zionist invasion of Lebanon, whatever government invited it. Lebanon has a large Syrian population, and therefore Syria has a sovereign right to defend its kin. We will repel any Zionist invasion with all necessary force."

Israel is making quick progress through southern Lebanon, having moved most of its forces to that conflict. By devoting so many resources to the pacification of Lebanon, security has been diminished along the border with the Gaza Strip. Hamas are taking this opportunity to call for a new Palestianian intafada against Israeli control.

PRIME MINISTER'S HELICOPTER DOWN

HELICOPTER DOWNED OUTSIDE BEIRUT GOVERNMENT COMPOUND, PM FEARED DEAD

It has been reported that one of the four helicopter convoy carrying the Lebanese Prime Minister and certain members of his security forces has been shot down. The Prime Minister's helicopter was believed to have been the one targeted. A stinger missile was fired from within an angry mob and detonated against the side of the helicopter, causing it to tear apart and fall to the earth. The other 3 helicopters moved into an evasive pattern to avoid further fire.

FLASH TRAFFIC URGENT

Urgent radio traffic: Shooting is being reported around the Lebanese government compound. It is believed that one of the helicopters taking the members of the Lebanese cabinet to a more secure location has been damaged by gunfire.